Hey Selfie & Such-ers! Here we are again, ready to explore parts of ourselves we’ve kept hidden. Maybe even from ourselves. Let’s start off with a simple question, how well do you know yourself? You’ve known you for your entire life. Would you be bold enough to say you know everything there is to know about yourself? I thought I was finally at a point in my journey of self-awareness where I understood myself pretty well. But then, I came across three questions that made me rethink everything.
As I was scrolling through the gram, a video of Teal Swan popped up. She played a fun little ‘get to know you’ game with her audience by asking three questions. I played along while watching the video. Swan had gotten the questions from a friend of hers studying relational psychology at the time. Psychology is the scientific study of the mind and behavior. It examines both the conscious and the subconscious mind. And so relational psychology, one can assume, is the study of how one thing relates to another. This association is often stored in the subconscious and presents itself when doing relational psychotherapy exercises. Do you get where I’m going with this?
The fun little ‘get to know you’ game is actually a relational psychotherapy exercise bringing to light aspects of your inner world for a greater level of self awareness. Each question Swan asked, revealed something profound about the individual that answered it. She asked the questions one by one, without revealing the meaning behind it. This was to make sure we didn’t alter our answer to ‘fit’ the explanation in an acceptable manner. Once everyone in the audience had written down their answers, she explained what each question represented. My answers made me reconsider everything I thought I had known about myself. I’m going to ask you the same three questions below. Regardless of whether you’re a pen and paper type person or prefer taking notes on an electronic device, make sure you write your answers down. Writing down your answers will be the best way for you to have an introspective look at your subconscious mind and your inner world.
I strongly urge you to answer honestly and do not move onto the next question until you’re able to come up with some sort of response. Write down the first thing that comes to mind, no filters, no second guessing, no judgement. Show up in this space as your most authentic self. Even if the response is ‘I don’t know’. Any genuine response you come up with will provide insight on your inner world and where you are in your journey of self-awareness.
Are you ready?
Here we go…
- What is your favorite color? Brainstorm a few deep reasons why. (A few options are listed below. You can choose anything, even if it’s not included)
| Red | Yellow | Blue | Green | Orange |
| Purple | Pink | Brown | Black | Grey |
- What is your favorite animal? Brainstorm a few deep reasons why. (A few options are listed below. You can choose anything, even if it’s not included)
| Cat | Dog | Penguin | Horse | Dolphin |
| Iguana | Bird | Lion | Monkey | Giraffe |
- What is your favorite form or body of water? Brainstorm a few deep reasons why. (A few options are listed below. You can choose anything, even if it’s not included)
| Rain | Hail | Snow | Ocean |
| Waterfall | Ice | Pond | River |
Do you have all your answers? Ready for me to reveal what they mean?
The answer to your favorite color is the way you view your own personality. The deep reasons you brainstormed why answer how you see yourself. My answer was white. My reasons were because white is bright, vibrant, it is a shade included in every other color and because it’s a clean canvas where the possibilities are endless. I view my personality as such. I have often joked with my family and friends that I am a ray of sunshine, an absolute delight! And to see the correlation between my joke and white being bright and vibrant, I could not help but laugh at the irony that maybe I wasn’t kidding after all. At the core, I am who I am. My values and principles do not change. However, as most people, depending on who I am spending time with and what role I play in their lives, my personality does change. I see myself as adaptable, correlating to how white is a shade present in all other colors on the color wheel. I am a firm believer that I get to choose how I show up in this world. Over the years I have grown and changed according to the season I am in. I believe the blank canvas is a great representation of how I feel I am able to paint a life I choose at any given point.
The answer to your favorite animal is what you want in an ideal life partner . The deep reasons you brainstormed why are the characteristics you want embodied by your life partner. One of the shocking things I learned about myself is that my favorite animal is actually a horse, not a lion the way I had originally thought. Upon further introspection, I realized the reason I thought a lion was my favorite is because of how it made me seem to others. I mean, you can’t beat the king of the jungle, can you? But when I allowed myself to be authentic, without any judgement and blurted out the first animal that came to mind I was able to admit the lie I had been telling myself. My favorite animal is a horse. For better or for worse, horses can be both: domesticated and wild. They are majestic, strong, reliable, and intelligent. It was quite eye opening for me to bring forth my subconscious desires to my consciousness. This awareness helped me reevaluate my experiences thus far and hopefully will help me in the future.
The answer to your favorite form or body of water is your view of your sexuality. The deep reasons you brainstormed are the reasons why you view your sexuality the way you do. My answer is the ocean. It’s vast, deep, beautiful, full of surprises and powerful. I did not realize I felt this way about my sexuality. The more I think about it, the more authentic my reasons feel. It has given me much to ponder over.
If you struggled or answered “I don’t know” for any of these questions, don’t fret. This is not an end all be all conclusive exercise. There are other ways to uncover truths about your inner world. But this exercise is a great indicator that you are on the right path in getting to know yourself. What other ways can you get to know yourself? Sit with yourself. Write the random thoughts that come into your mind. Take yourself out on dates. Spend time with yourself. Give yourself the same effort that you would in any other relationship in attempts of getting to know that person better. Except, this time it will be you getting to know you better. And oh, how rewarding it is to meet yourself over and over again as you continue to grow!
Regardless of what your answers were, I hope this exercise helped shed light on your inner universe and where you are in you self awareness journey. It’s crazy to draw parallels between the seemingly unrelated to find out more about yourself. But relational psychotherapy let’s us explore ourselves in a less obvious and less threatening way. As we move forward, keep in mind the importance of create a safe space for yourself. No filters. No second guessing. No judgement. A place for you to show-up in your relationship with yourself as authentic and genuine as you possibly can be. The relationship you have with yourself sets the tone for every other relationship in your life. And so I will leave you with a thought to ponder on: if you don’t allow your most authentic self to come out and play in your safe space, how will you ever be able to do that around anyone else?
Till next time, my Selfie & Such-ers!
XOXO
— S
